Chapter 1 of my dyslexic book

Hi guys,
Just got back from holiday so thought I would chuck a blog out there. So last week was the first real abroad holiday with the girlfriend so wanted to impress. We went camping in lake Garda, Italy which is stunning. No, I wasn’t being a cheap skate going camping, it was what she wanted to do and the fact that it saved about £700 on accommodation was just a bonus 😉
Our campsite was right on the lake under a mountain of the Alps. Right on the waters edge was a paragliding runway. We decided that we were going to have ago and take the jump! Its just under 2km high up the mountain and you are strapped to a qualified pilot. What could go wrong? So were took the cabble car from malcesine to the top of mounte baldo which is bloody high!!!

 

You then get to the top and hear to the lake side edge of the mountain and gear up. Lauren went first and basicly you have to run down this slope and sit when they say. She got off and had a perfect take off. I was so focused on just staying alive I wasn’t realy taking in all the information the pilot was saying. All I heard was “run sam, run sam!!” so I ran. Apparently (acording to the go pro footage which comes with the jump) he said when I say sit down then sit down but not yet. So what did I do… that’s right, I sat down straight away!!!! All I heard was NOOOOOOO not yet!!. The only way I can describe it was like when you go to the beach, pick a flat stone and scim in along the water surface, well this is what happened to me. My bum bounced a few times, the pilot was panicking pulling every control of the craft as possible and suddenly my bum must of given a good bounce off the floor and we took off!!

I will post the go pro vidio at some point, its funny! I wanted to say sorry im dyslexic but thought maybe this is just a stupid sam moment rather than dyslexia!

So after we landed we went back to the camp site where our camping neighbours who were a nice German couple said they saw us land. There English was limited but good but at that stage where they look for reassurance that they are saying the right words. He ended up talking about the parachute and wanted to know what the word was to put air into it. I just came out with deflate! And then thought that’s not right. The German guy was like “ oh thank you your teaching me and making my english better!!” I was like oh no iv given him the wrong word!! But didn’t have the hart to say I had got it wrong, opps!! However I did upset him on our last day. When we were packing up we had one of those long clicker lighter things which we could not take back. So I went over with Lauren and said that we could not take this back and did they want it? For some strange reason because I thought there english was slightly limmited I said to him “this is for making fire!!!!”. His face dropped and said in a sarcastic tone “oh really, wow we are so primitive, I did not know that!!”. I could not believe I had actually said that!!!

Anyway I have completed the first chapter of my book. If anyone gets a chance can they please have a look and see what you think. I have never written a long story and to help I based it on my old school but with different characters than people I actually went to school with. Well some of the charicters are simular but it was just to give me a template. Any way see what you think and feed back is needed.

Cheers

Sam

Beyond limitations draft

Chapter 1 – spit, crown joules and detention
Another cold wet day waiting under a disused shop’s porch, cherishing the moment of peace before the inevitable hell that was to come down the hill. John wasn’t the only one taking a second to embrace what time he had left before it arrived. Every school day John and his friend Jack waited at the bus stop at the bottom of the hill in Sandgate. And every time it was the same routine; meet jack, wait for the school bus and then endure the twenty minuet journey to school without drawing any attention to yourself. The joys of being one of the last stops on the bus meant that the old double decker bus which was painted with pictures of Disney land on the side would be almost full and seats would be mostly taken. Whatever this bus was it certainly was not Disney land! Each day it would be a challenge to find a seat that kept you out of the way so to blend in with the mob that was the school bus.
John blinked and came back from his recollection of the day before where someone had set fire to one of the seats causing a lad called billy to get burnt on his leg. I don’t think billy will be on the bus today john thought. But who will be the next victim and can it get worse than burning. John felt sorry for Jack as he suffers from torrets syndrome which automatically made him a target on the bus. Some day they will laugh at him when a swear word comes unwillingly through his mouth and other times it would make him a target for being spat at and food thrown at him.

Luckily for him the mob never discriminated making anyone a target. Sounds terrible I know but it shared the load meaning if you got it one day fingers crossed the focus would have changed the next. John realised that he had not been the target this week and by the law of averages it was his turn.
John looked at his watch… 08:19. Two minuets remained and both John and jack took a last few breaths. John could tell that jack’s anxiety was increasing as his ticks began to shown. Please please let there be a free double seat we both thought! This was rare and the norm was to pick the best of what seats were left.

Sometimes the bully’s purposely left a seat free next to them and the other seats which were free were next to the people no one wanted to sit next too. John didn’t mind siting next to those people as he didn’t care if people were popular or not. 08:20 on the dot, It appeared from around the corner from up the hill. Once you saw it you had about 30 seconds until it arrived at the bus stop.

The squeaking breaks screamed just before it stopped and the air breaks let off a loud release simular to the relise I gave before the doors opened. The crazy thing is that not only do you have to endure this journey but you have to pay for the privilege also.
Jack reluctantly got on the bus first trying to hold his ticks back which must have felt like a shaken bottle of coke ready to explode. He paid his £2.50 and moved down the isle of the crowded bus. John Piper took a step up on to the bus and was meet with a sharp glare.

Oh no its him john thought. There was about five different drivers but one had taken unbridge to john for no particular reason. John held his money out but the unnamed driver just stared at him in silence. This meant the bus was being delayed and then everyone on the first floor started to look down the bus to see what was going on. John started to go red as he knew that people were now looking at him and seeing what his happening.

The driver then looked and saw that everyone was now looking, turned back to john and the smirked. He took the money and handed over the little printed square ticket which acted as the return. John turned and started to walk down the isle. Everyone was looking and snigering at him. John saw jack who seemed to have lost his ticks as the heat now seemed to be on john and not him. He offered a smile in the hope to offer some support without actually having to get involved.

John looked around a saw there were no seats on the lower deck. He slowly took the spiral stair case to the second floor. This was mixed with the older years of the school. Again they all starred and started to snigger. One double seat remained. John was cautious as this never happens. He was one of the last stops which meant there was only ever single seats next to people that were already sat down at best. John walked with caution towards the seat which everyone seemed to be looking at.

In a desperate attempt to detract attention he took a quick glance and sat down the side nearest the window. As soon as he put bum to seat laughing started. John went red, he didn’t want to move to see what had happened, he just froze and could not move. Marc who was another shy lad turned and whispered “they greeneyed on your seat”. John slightly lifted himself of his seat and sure enough a green guey mess was stuck to his trousers!! Nice thought John.
The bus eventually the bus arrived at Brockhill Park Secondary Lower school. A burst of air signaled the release of the double doors at the front of the bus. John waited until the rush had gone and every one had left. He was still looking down at seat and the green stain both on it and his trousers. When he looked up he saw a tall figuar which was hiden by the glare of the morning sun. As the tall, wide dark figuar moved forward it soon became clear that it was the driver. “look what you have done to my bus you little shit!!”, “You school kids are all the bloody same! Dirty, enconsiderate, thick waisters!.
“but I havent done anything” john said.
“Yes you have you burnt my chair, you spit on my seats, you call me fat, well I have had it up to here with you little pricks!.
The driver then grabbed John by his coat and pulled him off his seat. His grip pinched johns skin underneath which sent a sharp pain through his body. His teeth were clenched and his face as red as blood. The heat that was radiating of the driver was emence. The driver was a large fat man, he had large square framed glasses with dark pinprick eyes. He had a real sense of eveilness about him which was reflected in his anger towards john. The driver squezed harder and drew his other hand back clenching a fist.

John took a deep breath, plucked some courage and kicked out as hard as he could whilst having his eyes closed. He used all his force and lashed out. His foot with his doctor martin look alikes frusted up into the drivers groin.
Bulls eye – straight in the nackers john thought. The driver went down like a sack of patatos enabliling john to make a run for it. He flew down the stairs and towards the bus door whilst looking behind him. John then came to an abrupt stop after runing into someone standing buy the bus door. A tall, slim straight man with sort hair and small eyes looked at John. “Mr Black sir, I was just…” John struggled to get his words out and started to stutter. Behind he could hear the bus driver rushing to the bus door. He also stopped sharply on seeing Mr Black.
“is there a problem here?” said Mr Black.
The bus driver paused and considered his next move.
“no” he said, “there is no problem here” in a revengful tone.
John knew that this was not the end of this and as he walked off with Mr Black he could see the bus driver staring at him in his proifral vision.
After getting through the school gates, Mr Black said to john “is there anything I need to know about that?”.
John paused and thought “yes sir the bus driver grabbed me and I kicked him in the crown jouls!!!!, He would really belive that!!!”
“No sir, nothing to tell”
Mr Black staired at John with his pin prick eyes and and rubbed his chin for a second. He then turned and said “life will test you john and its how you deal with the moment that will shape the future” John shiverd and ran off to his form room for morning registration which he was already late for.
John walked into 7SG and saw everyone stairing at him as he came through the door.
“And where have you been a sharp loud voice rang out”
“sorry miss” john said in a quiert voice trying not to draw to much attention to himself. John went to sit down and as he walked passed Miss Gibson, he heard here shout “john!” what is that sticky stuff on your trousers!!!”
“erm eerm” John had nothing.
“go clean yourself up”
As john walked out of the class he heard a loud spate of laughter explode in the class room.
John sighed and said “bloody briliant!”.
“I heard that john” Miss Gibson Shouted. “I will see you at lunch for detention”
“oh bolex” john said under his breath.
“forget that john we will call it after school detention!” she shouted.
The class were loving this. Was like pouring petrol onto the fire.
John ran off befor his mouth would get him in more trubble.

Understanding jokes!

Hi guys, I am bit late writing this one but have been manic with doing the Podcasts with Mark Simmons and every thing else life likes to throw at me. Anyway here it goes.

So I’m not sure if this is a dyslexic moment or me just being silly!! but I went to see one of Mark’s comedy nights that he was presenting at Rock sult in Folkestone (Kent). For some reason I just can not get the jokes quick enough or at all. So because he’s my mate and the fact everyone else laths I just lath too. I just thought it would be a bit rude to stop him mid flow and ask if he could repeat the joke! has anyone ever done that before??? Or I miss the next joke because I’m trying to understand the one before which means I lath mid way through the last joke and then lath on my own (premature larthage!) Anyway Mark if your reading this what I did get was quality. Please look him up online as he’s done a lot with me on the podcasts and he is actually funny well so I guess from the lafter at the comedy night!

So I was having dinner to day with my Family in Sunny Sandgate today. My step nan said that my spelling is terrible on these blogs but understands that I have turned spell check off so my writing is how it would be. But I don’t think she released how bad it actually was!!! My boss read my dyslexic report which basically highlighted that I am a gramatical nightmear and could not believe how I am able to get on with things. How did people cope with Dyslexia in the old days! Iv mentioned about my dyslexic dating issues but imagine what it was like in historic times when couples used to court and write letters to each other. I would of had to draw pictures of what I was trying to say. “I think your hot” would of been a hyroglifical dipiction of an eye (I), a brain (think), finger pointing (your) and a picture of the sun (hot)!! Im so glad I have a girlfriend now (hard to believe I know) but all that dating larkey and trying to impress them with poems and letters!!

As per my last podcast with Mark. A couple of people that I know said that they would not employ dyslexic people due to the worry of being sued after I told them about the starbucks case. Which is where a dyslexic employee sued the company successfully for not having protocols in place to deal with issues she was having. This really annoyed me as I am dyslexic and I have never sued my job and have progressed on my own merit. Me and mark randomly thought of an idea to try and promote dyslexia which was based on last years “ice bucket challenge”. We re branded the idea and called it the scrabble bucket challenge! Idea would be the same only you poor scrabble bit over you rather than water! So far the grand total is just me but I am still hopeful 🙂

I knew I would be the only one but I am very open with my dyslexia and really want other people to be too. The more stories and experiences we can get out there the more others will understand what we go through on a day to day basis. But I am happy to take the bulit and make myself look silly because someone has too.

If anyone out there knows james Martin the chief or chief (I can never get these right) the cookey person. He is my dyslexic hero as he has the same atitude as me that dyslexia helped me sucseed in life! I really enjoy being dyslexic as you never know where it is going to take you next (espeshaly when reading maps!) but if anyone knows him please forward this to him and i will forever be in you debt

anyway thank you for reading and follow me on twitter @samthedyslexic

Sam