Dyslexic Dating – Tinder Nightmare

Brief history

Before i start this blog i would just like to start by saying I am married now!!!! Not sure how she puts up with me but I am. However prior to this I had a period of about 6 years of being single and not really finding the right girl following a really long 10 year relationship from like the age of 15 to 25!!! It was a weird time of my life from going from being so young and really into someone knowing nothing else  to an emptyness and feeling quite lonely.

I was also in a group of friends that were either all married or had long term partners. for your average single person this can be a bit poo and you kind of feel like a 3rd wheel which I’m sure you will all agree is not much fun.

Internet dating 

So following ages of mopping around feeling sorry for myself my friend Jenna (who sadly passed away recently but if she were here I’m sure would smile) set me up on this app she called “TINDER”. 

If i am completely honest I had no idea what it was or what you did. I generally thought that internet dating was something that sad lonely people did because they were feeling sorry for them selfs and did not have the confidence to chat people up in the more traditional manner. However when thinking that statement back to myself I realised that the person I was imagining in my mind was actually me!!!! Based on the fact that i had just branded myself a sad and lonely man i decided to hand my phone over and let her set it up. I think there used to be a stigma around online dating but I soon found out loads of single people did it as every one is so busy to go out and meet people!

Literally couple of minuets later she had already set up a profile with a photo she had found on my facebook page and began to start swiping my phone. At that point I was not ofay with the ins and outs of working the app but apparently swiping right is a yes to a picture of a girl and swipe left or no (little shallow i think). So when jenna was continually swiping left i thought I better ask what she was doing. Basically she was going through the girls picking who she thought would be good for me!! I took control of my phone and started to have a go.

Problem number one of internet dating when you are dyslexic……. getting your rights and lefts mixed up can cause you issues. It soon became apparent that I was swiping left to people i did want to date and right to the ones i didn’t!!!! This finally clicked when i realised that both parties have to like each other and then it comes up with “YOU HAVE A MATCH”. However the people I was matching with defernantly were not the people I thought I was swiping for!!! I wonder how many of the ones i mist might have actually wanted to go on a date…. ?!?!? lol I hopping at least one!!

Following cracking the simple task of knowing your left and rights I finally started getting a few matches. Although there was another hurdle that appeared! in the text box the person gets to write a little blurb about them self or who they are looking for. 9 times out of 10 people would put “whats with people that don’t know the difference between there theirs , theres and the 3rd one i can never remember!!!! Basically in a nut shel if you can’t spell properly don’t bother messaging me!!!

How the hell was this going to work!!! spell check usually stiches me up because it auto corrects my words to something completely different and properly offensive with out me knowing. I even considered getting my mum to spell check however discounted that idea after 30 seconds. “Hi I am sams mum, please dat him he just can’t spell thats al, he has a loverly personality”!!!!

But I thought sod it ,what is the worse that could happen, I picked up my phone was stunned to see that a really pretty lady had matched me, took a deep breath and messaged her. Its hard making the first approach but decided not to follow my original plan of using smaller words as I may sound a little simple and chucked in some bigger more sufisticated words such as; Eligant, intriged and intreadsted. I can’t fully remember who i used Eligant but i did!! however I am guessing by the red line currently underneath it that I have once again spelt it wrong.

Anyway back to the story… So I received my first message. For anyone that has not used tinder before I can tell you now this is a truly exciting time of your life! However that excitement was soon to be crushed as the message read. “Is that actually a picture of you or is this a silly joke as your writing is like a 10 year olds”! Apart from the admission that she may have over generously predicted my writing ability age i did make me sad as that was the last message from her. Should of got my mum to write back!!!!

So after many a message coming back about my spelling and on many a date me not interpreting the photo correctly as some seemed older than the picture they put up, I decided to give internet dating up. However i did meet some amazing people and have some amazing memories.

In the end I met my lovely wife at my best mates 2 year old at the times birthday party which doesn’t sound weird at all when i read it back to myself. She was actually his neighbours daughter. Very pretty and extremely bright I gave her my number and then we started dating after about 6 months later when she realised she had missed a message from me on her phone.

Even now I still read things wrong and it has an impact on our dates. So early in the relationship we decided to go over to france for a couple of days. Me again wanting to look good and be assertive decided to book the ferry and organise the trip. Got onto the boat and started the closing to france. She from both being bright and also from living in france for 5 years pointed out of the ferry window and said “the ferry seems to be going past calais” which was meant to be our destination. Me being slightly confused said that maybe the ferry does a bit of a big loop. Then the tannoy went BING BONG you will shortly be arriving in dunkirk!!!! I had read the information wrong and acsidently booked the wrong destination. 

To this day she always does the bookings!!!!!

Moral of the story – don’t judge a message by its cover, it could be that the persons mum has not checked it before sending!!!!!

Dyslexic filter glasses 90’s style!

The story of the purple glasses 

The year was 1992 – a young boy aged 7 (yes it may be myself again) was sat at the far end of the class room. 

Reading time – All the other kids were loving there new reading skills which they had been learning over the last few years. 

The room was awash of nouns and-pronouns, smashing out adjectives and throwing out verbs like they were making it rain with £50 notes!

One girl was so good that she was quoting the current financial climate referring the the Financial Times! 

Whilst this array of word crunching was taking place in the class room, little Sam was sat reading the very hungry caterpillar (#GreatBook).

The teachers realised that Sam was well behind in the reading game. The words just seemed to be all jumbled up on the page. It was decided that he was to be put through a special colour filter test.

The next week a man came to the school with a dark brief case. The case opens and out came a list of words and a number of different transparent coloured filters.

“Nothing to worry about old son, all you got to do is read until I say stop”. Sam hated reading. He really did think the Egyptians had the right idea with there cool picture words.

It said something like “the cat was wearing a hat whilst he had a chat with pat” 

Sam was getting it well wrong from the start “the tat with the part had a hat and a rat” 

Each colour not really making much of a difference UNTIL the man put a purple filter on.

It just clicked and for the first time the words seemed to be lined up together in readable sentences. 

Success you would of thought reading this! Well what the school didn’t say was that they were not just giving him the filter but making him a pair of purple framed glasses.

Not just run of the mill pair… we are talking huge thick brown framed glasses. They were that big that the top of the lance levelled with his hair line and the lower was most of the way to his chin!!! 

To top that the lenses were dark purple and you almost needed a backpack as a case for them!

Picture Elton johns mini me siting in a room full of other children all starring and lathing.

Well at the end of the first day little Sam was so upset and peed off that he had been made the lathing stock of the class that he took the glasses, threw them on the floor and stood on them. 

It felt so good to do that!! The only down side was sams mum had to pay for those glasses and as a family they didn’t have much money at the time.

She went mad, proper mad! To which my hatred for the glasses slipped to an emotional pit whole as I new we had little money and maybe being bullied wasn’t the lesser evil.

It’s a story looking back makes me smile (my work lot think it’s hilarious) but actually was a really vunrable moment in my growing up.

I hope my experiences in life make people realise that being dyslexic is not just about not being able to spell but actually has a real emotional impact.

Does this still happen? 

August Sam the Dyslexic Blogg

So I finaly wrote the letter to Prime Minister May!!

This letter will go one of two ways… She will agree and write back to me saying that her party will look in to it OR she will just think im a bit of a nob and will be filed in the department of recycling!!!

Either way it still is not fair that people have to pay well over £500 to find out if you are dyslexic. That would be like me going into hospital saying I think my leg is broken and the doctor saying “yeah it really looks broken but drop me £500 and I will let you know for sure!!!”

 

I couldn’t spell my name till I was over 10, surname at like 15, I read at like 10 words a minuet and most of the time I read the same line three times because the words are all jumbled up! I think its safe to say something is wrong and I and im terrible with numbers so I may have short changed you with your £500 test money.

 

How many people are out there that can not afford to pay to be told they are dyslexic. Deep down they know they are so why for them to get help do we bulid a huge barrier in fornt of them. AND what does it achive. Does there work really care, understand or even really want to help.

 

Iv noticed on twitter that there are so many groups out there for dyslexia doing an amazing job. It’s a huge community but yet people are slipping through the net in getting help. How can we change that???

 

Its like the government are not really that intrested as it is not something that affects them. Well the proof will be in the pudding and see if we get a reply.

 

Its been a while since Iv hit the blogs and twiter. Sadly my grandad passed away will a 30 year fight with dementure. If anyone who is reading this has family members with this then I really feel your pain.

 

Dementure if so crule and soul destroying that it finaly beat him. Desomond Jack Dyer my grandad who fought in the war, boxed in the navy and worked in construction for over 50 years became the latest victim of the darkness of the desease and he will be missed more than ever!

 

My Run

Please please have a look at my gust giving page under sam the dyslexic as I am running a 32 mile london race for the British Dyslexia Assosiation to raise a bit of money that they can use to help may for dysllexia test for people that can not afford it. Any donations no matter how small will go a long way.

https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/samthedyslexic 

What is the worst dyslexic error you have made with regards to words that sound the same? My top retired and retarded (on an official document) 

 

Thanks people

 

@samthedyslexic

May Blog

As I was sat in a cocktail bar over looking the beautiful town of Agios Nikolaos in Crete which was a little blurry as the “TRUST THE BARMAN” cocktail was a little stronger than my lightweight self is used to having!

A question was asked within the group of what is the difference between Assume and Presume.

Easy question I thought at first and naturally is said “well assume is like persuming something and persume is like asuming”.

Then I realised the cocktail was clearly talking and I had no idea about what I was talking about so listened to the grown-ups work it out (Im 32 honestly!)

It then seemed aparent that no one really knew the diffrence!

Can anyone actualy tell me the diffrence between them?

What is the point of two completely difrent words that mean the same thing?

And How do you decide when to use the right one…?

And then just to make assume and persume complecated, you can also have supose!!! Any more…..

Another one that gets me is words that are simular but have completely difrent sounds;

Cough (off) though (o) rough (uff) – all ending in OUGH but have completely difrent sounds. How can all these sound different when they have the same ending. If I was french and started learing english for the first time then surely I would be cursing because it is so complicated.

Have we over the years just made our language complicated or is it because our language is a mix-mash of other languages such as French and latin?

Some times I feel that its my dyslexia that makes it dificult for me but actualy I think it is the English Language.

Another example is if I said I like to sit and ROW, do I mean;

1)I like to sit and row a boat

2)I like to sit and row (argue)with my family

3)Or row as in lines of seats.

Is this not just a floor in the english langue. Do the oxford dictory people even know this and if so why make one word that means loads of different things!

Cup – drinking cup or going to the doctors and being cupped and asked to cough!!!!

Dog pound, pound in weight, money pound gave it a pounding!?

When I used to get words wrong – my nan used to say “there there sam, your get t right next time”. Which there or their is right in this senario?

In summery the english language is really complicated and confusing. So being dyslexic it feels a 100 times harder to understand and get stuff in the right context. Infact now I read this back I feel that I need another coctail just to understand what I have writen.

Only a quick blog today but I am looking a writing one about big organisations and how a lot of the time they are not dyslexic friendly at all. Example being terms and conditions – why not summerise so us dyslexic people and actualy read what we are signing up to rather than the hole 95 pages that no one will ever read!

Any ideas on that would be apreshiated to!!!!

 

Let me know what you think on twitter @samthedysleic

 

Thanks for reading

Sam

 

 

 

Can you Beat Dyslexia…???

Hi to my regular readers (mum)

I write my blog mainly just to get my thoughts to paper because mostly my thoughts are like bubbles floating around within my head. Half the time they pop or almagumate with other bubbles before I have actualy worked out what they were.

 

I recently put up a post about beating dyslexia and I recived a reply that made me think. I have always felt that you cant beat dyslexia and that you have to work with it. But recently I had to do a lot of job related exams that were pritty hard and it massivly brought out the dyslexic traits that I have managed to rain in over the years.

 

It reminded me of the huge emotional wait that can be placed on someone causing a huge amount of preasure and stress because ultimatly in my case the exams will help me get on the path way to a better job, SO NO PREASURE AT ALL!!!!!

I hated dyslexia as a kid because it made me different from all the other kids. I had to wear eye patches, purple lence glasses, be put in special needs classes, placed in all the bottem classes even though pleading with teacher to be moved due to all the desruptive kids being at the bottem also.

 

I wanted to beat it then because I didn’t realy know what it was or why it is happerning to me.

 

Later in life I relised that you cant beat it and almost gave up because it always seemed to get one over on me so I just plodded along until I got to my GCSE’s which surprise surprise I did pants in! However I got it back in my head that I can beat this and I can break this mould so I pushed and pushed myself and not only did I pass my GCSE’s but went on to A levels and even got a degree in Business at university.

 

So strangly I have always been torn between this premis of beating dyslexia and working with it. Prior to my recent exams I was very much of the opinion that dyslexia has shaped who I am and that I like working with it to over come lifes chalenges.

But latley the emotional black thunder cloud has be cast again and it realy takes its tole.

 

I know deep down that I would not change being dyslexic and that adapting and working with it is the way forward but soetimes its hard. And even harder what you try to speak to people who don’t realy understand much about dyslexia.

 

Im not trying to say that saying beating dyslexia is right. I think when I use the term beating dyslexia I actualy mean phycologicly beating it and knowing that you can still achive what you want even with the shadow that always follows you (dyslexia).

I still struggle reading and recently I have forced myself to read more and now really seem to have the bug for it, to the point that its inspired me to write my own book. Its not role dar or jane austin but to me its a small goal I have set.

 

anyway I have rambled on way to much to I realy woud like to know what other people think about it and how they deal with dyslexia.

Mum thank you for reading 🙂 and if anyone else got this far then please contact me on twitter @sam the dyslexic.

 

Sam

Dyslexic Game Of Thrones!!

Is Dyslexia like an epasode of Game of Thones?

It defantly has the brutality that can be found in life, work, schools and collages. For most people it has a real sence of love and hate that can boil down into a really deep dark emotional place for some people. And most of all it has houses that have simular traits.

 

House of lanister reminds me of the house of Employer as they are all about power and wealth and have little regards for the soldiers, workers and other houses that put obsticals in there way.

 

House Stark is like House Dyslexic. Is fighting a stale mate war with its values, belives and problems against a bigger more non understanding House employer.

 

Maybe house Targaryan is the ever growing suport groups that defend the rights of House Dyslexic.

 

Ok I feel like im re writing this amazing box set and ruining it!! I just feel that sometimes being dyslexic is like being in a battle with so many difrent factors and people trying to cut you down or break you. Employers don’t really seem to understand the difficulties that being dyslexic can have. AND that sometimes it is only small changes that are needed to help that person get on. Its like the nights watch is protecting our barriers against all the negativity that is out there.

 

House dyslexia is a strong suportive community but outside that it can feel like you are banging you head against a wall. So what can be done….

 

In short – rise up and stand up and make it heard what you want to say. I have been having huge issues at my work because the employer does not provide relivent information on how it can help people with dyslexia. I have been banging on to them for years now saying that we need a website with more information.

Someone took my idea (management) and created a site that was not acsessable and block black and white text. Nice work coyboy!!!!! How about you jump off your high horse and think outside the box and ask the people that will use it (dyslexic staff) what they would like to see and how it should be presented.

 

I guess that is thinking! However one manager has picked this up and has been amazing. He has organised taking ownership of the internal site and is asking me to reasurch what officers and supervisors would want to see.

 

I moan a lot about employers espechaly mine but on this occasion he has been spot on and I think this will really help.

 

Oh on a seprate note I haave been speaking to some really coll people at NUword. They have created a cool site which has a chat forum that covers some real good dyslexic topics. I have writen a few posts in there and think it is a great way of shareing stories and experiences. Please check it out at www.nuword.org/join

 

It is free to sign up and really worth having a look.

 

Anyway I need to get back to my revsion as have a few marine exams on the go. FUN!!!!!!

 

Laters people sorry if I ruined Game of Thrones

 

Sam

@samthedyslexic

Anyone else hate this?!?!?!

Question 1

Which of the following is NOT the correct feeling you get when a negitive question appears in your exam?

  1. A negiitive question never affects me during the exam because I only notice when I failed my exams because I did not see the “NOT”.
  2. I saw the “NOT” but my brain is scared of it and takes the tactical desion to ignor it because if you cant see it it cant hurt you
  3. Put my hand up and ask if I can highlight the question so not to miss the “NOT” but get told you cant write on the exam paper!!!
  4. Or im a cool dude and no NOT is going to hold me back.

i. A and B

ii. B and DA,

iii. C and D

iv. Or you start cursing, rip up the paper, throw it at the teacher and start to cry!!!! (my option)

 

HAHA so you may have quessed Im not a fan of the negitive question which seems to be widley used in moden day exams. I recenly did an advanced version of highway code theory for work. Prior to this I downloaded the DSA official theory aplication for my iphone and smashed the revsion side getting well over 95% each time I did it.

On the day of the race, I was sitting there looking at the exam paper which almost every question was negitive, I thought you buggers are just trying to catch me out rather than actualy test me.

At first I thought it was a bit of a joke test and that the person in charge would spit his tea out laughing, pat me on the back and say “ we got you there lad!”

 

Nope this was the test, and the most anoying thing being the questions wernt actualy that hard but were worded in away that you had to question what they were actualy asking you.

 

Now am I just being silly or isnt it better that the student revises and the exam board test you on what you have learnt… Nope they like to go one step further and try to catch you out. WELL my message to the examiners is stop waisting your ink by chucking in NOT’s and exantending has to hasents and just do your job and actualy test peoples knoledge!!!!

 

Maybe im the only dyslexic that belives in this issue but I just don’t think its fair and ultomatly I don’t think its right.

 

Anyway on a happyer note I have stupidly signed up for a 50km run in september with my best mate. Im looking to run to promote dyslexia and rise a bit of cash which I would like to donate to a chairty / organisation that could use it to help someone who cant afford to have a dyslexia test who needs one. Will keep you all posted on that one.

 

Anyway only a quick blogg but pleae tweet me and let me know what you think!!!!!

 

Samthedyslexic

Understanding jokes!

Hi guys, I am bit late writing this one but have been manic with doing the Podcasts with Mark Simmons and every thing else life likes to throw at me. Anyway here it goes.

So I’m not sure if this is a dyslexic moment or me just being silly!! but I went to see one of Mark’s comedy nights that he was presenting at Rock sult in Folkestone (Kent). For some reason I just can not get the jokes quick enough or at all. So because he’s my mate and the fact everyone else laths I just lath too. I just thought it would be a bit rude to stop him mid flow and ask if he could repeat the joke! has anyone ever done that before??? Or I miss the next joke because I’m trying to understand the one before which means I lath mid way through the last joke and then lath on my own (premature larthage!) Anyway Mark if your reading this what I did get was quality. Please look him up online as he’s done a lot with me on the podcasts and he is actually funny well so I guess from the lafter at the comedy night!

So I was having dinner to day with my Family in Sunny Sandgate today. My step nan said that my spelling is terrible on these blogs but understands that I have turned spell check off so my writing is how it would be. But I don’t think she released how bad it actually was!!! My boss read my dyslexic report which basically highlighted that I am a gramatical nightmear and could not believe how I am able to get on with things. How did people cope with Dyslexia in the old days! Iv mentioned about my dyslexic dating issues but imagine what it was like in historic times when couples used to court and write letters to each other. I would of had to draw pictures of what I was trying to say. “I think your hot” would of been a hyroglifical dipiction of an eye (I), a brain (think), finger pointing (your) and a picture of the sun (hot)!! Im so glad I have a girlfriend now (hard to believe I know) but all that dating larkey and trying to impress them with poems and letters!!

As per my last podcast with Mark. A couple of people that I know said that they would not employ dyslexic people due to the worry of being sued after I told them about the starbucks case. Which is where a dyslexic employee sued the company successfully for not having protocols in place to deal with issues she was having. This really annoyed me as I am dyslexic and I have never sued my job and have progressed on my own merit. Me and mark randomly thought of an idea to try and promote dyslexia which was based on last years “ice bucket challenge”. We re branded the idea and called it the scrabble bucket challenge! Idea would be the same only you poor scrabble bit over you rather than water! So far the grand total is just me but I am still hopeful 🙂

I knew I would be the only one but I am very open with my dyslexia and really want other people to be too. The more stories and experiences we can get out there the more others will understand what we go through on a day to day basis. But I am happy to take the bulit and make myself look silly because someone has too.

If anyone out there knows james Martin the chief or chief (I can never get these right) the cookey person. He is my dyslexic hero as he has the same atitude as me that dyslexia helped me sucseed in life! I really enjoy being dyslexic as you never know where it is going to take you next (espeshaly when reading maps!) but if anyone knows him please forward this to him and i will forever be in you debt

anyway thank you for reading and follow me on twitter @samthedyslexic

Sam