Tag: dyslexic

Because I am Dyslexic or because I am I just stupid ….?!?!

Iv previous talked about my emotional battle with my dyslexia,but one thing I haven’t touched on is that I have always battled with the above question which sounds controversial but seems to always haunt me ….”is it because I am dyslexic or is it because I am stupid?”

Last month

It’s 10:30pm, my car is parked at the rear of the police station with me in the drivers seat, my head is in my hands, emotions spinning sad/angry/embarrassed, asking how the f@ck did that happen!

Six hours earlier 

I’m sat at a desk with two of my team following countless hours of revision and shifts practicing night passages hoping to pass our advanced power boat commercially endorsed exam which has been 4 years in the making! 

I’m pretty sure nerves were hitting all of us. First up was the writen exam which traditionally is always my nemeses regardless of the subject or how prepared I am. However on this occasion the hours of revision Kicked in and I smashed it, couple of silly mind blanks but flew through with no issues.

Next is planning your night passage. Basically you need to navigate the boat to a charted deep hole in a river in the dark close to shallow mud flats with out using any chart plotters (boat sat nav) and only using a number of bearings to get from A to B to C to D. You lay your chart on the table and draw a safe route from A to D then put that in a writen format that you can translate in the dark using a faint red light to direct the helm (driver) later that night. Get from A to D as per your plan safely and you pass. Don’t get to D or go off track and you fail. 

My plan was created,  my bearings set, my distances checked and the danger areas noted. What could go wrong…..

We left the safety of the inner harbour and was tested on our skills in handerling the boat. He put us under a little pressure in the bad weather but we all sailed through it with no issues. 

Then comes the navigation practical. My team buddies were up first and both smashed it with no issue. Was so happy for them when we turned on the plotter and saw they were where they needed to be! 

My turn

I take a couple of minutes sorting myself out, getting my passage plan out and ready, turning my small red light on so not to dazzle the helm and then set off. My spot depth I was looking for was down a small creek with large mud banks either side that were hidden with the tide making a real risk of running the boat aground. 

For me to get to that spot depth I actually had to find another one first so to get the angle right to safely get into the creek. All was going well and I nailed that first spot depth which gave me a huge confidence boost. I told Ryan who was driving to turn to a new bearing but as we turned I knew something was not right. Some of the transit lights I was using to guide me in were in the wrong places. Then the worst thing happens, the examiner said are you sure about your course, I looked at the depth of the water which was rapidly dropping to a dangerous level. He then stepped in again and said I needed to turn to port. I eventually found my location but it was to late the examiner had to step in. When we got back we checked my last bearing 230 degree however it should of been 203. My brain in the heat of the pressure of planning my passage in the class room had mixed the numbers around the wrong way!!! “Im sorry Sam I just can’t pass you for that mistake as you would have been on the mud”

Over the years dyslexia has caught me out many a time but this for me really got me! I proper mentally beat myself up. This can’t be dyslexia I’m just thick!!!!who makes stupid mistakes like that!!!! maybe I’m not good enough to be on my team!?!?!

Once you fall into that whole it’s a hard climb to get out of it.

The person who threw me that rope was my mate Ben who is the teams lead marine trainer. He told me not to worry and let’s get it re booked as soon as we can. He changed his shifts so we could get more time out at night to keep the skills up and then a month later I was sat in the same class room ready for the retake. 

The examiner was different this time, seemed more personable and calming. His theory test was verbal rather than a writen exam. He did this because his son was dyslexic and believed this was a more dyslexia friendly way of doing it. Wow it was a lot harder this time around but his concept was better and somehow I sailed through it no issues at all.

Then came planning the night passage. I spent so much time running Mocs in all the creeks in the river however he give me a depth in the deep blue of the estuary! I hadn’t practiced there at all. However I laid my charts out and found a safe route. I checked all my bearings so many times that it gave me a headache.

We went out and ran the course with Ben as my helm who I directed and I smashed it, bang on the spot with no issues. A shake of the hand confirmed I had done it! 

After it was all done me and Ben stuffed ourselfs at kfc! Felt good. I had not only climbed out of that deep hole but carried on to cloud nine. I sat there and thought to myself whilst necking a zinger tower burger that maybe I’m not thick after all and just need to remember dyslexia is manageable if you stay calm and keep on top of it!

It’s harder being dyslexic because you have to check everything twice but the rewards are far greater when it all works out. I guess the moral of the story is under pressure you have to check and check again. But if you do make that mistake like i did then rather throw yourself in a hole just pick your self up and learn from it. That then is a bloody good driver for ensuring you achieve next time!

The Fear of Failure and Drive for Success

Exams, Pressure and Banta 

No matter what job you are in at some point there will be an element of stress layed upon you whether induced by pressure in getting the job done to people causing you issues or even just making life difficult. This some times can bring on a sense of fear of failure.

For me that fear of failure is alway present around the word EXAM! There seems to be two types of exams in the old bill; the good old knowledge check that can be talked through and isn’t there to catch you out AND then you have the Exam Exam! 

An Exam Exam is the type the feels like it is trying to catch you out. 

Recently I have done one of each of these exams and thankfully passed both but they came with different stresses that is not only induced by the pressure put on by yourself but also from the people running them!

I recently attended a specialist course out of county. When you enter the room for a first day of a course you tend to get an indercation from the atmosphere of how the whole thing is going to play out.

The differences of this course was there was an exam the first day. Because the course was a combination of two diserplins you were expected to know both subject manules inside out.

On top of that not only to make things worse, three days earlyer I had just completed a two weeks medics course which also had an exam. So I ended up revising multiple subjects each night with my brain spinning like plates on sticks!!

It was a strange experience for me because I felt slightly confident as I had done a good amount of revision but the atmosphere in the room started to over shadow that positive feeling. Following introduction from the staff it seemed as if they were laying a lot of pressure on this exam to the point that there was talk of if you fail by a certain percentage then that could result in you going home. So this was an out of county course which involved two of us travelling up in one car. So if I failed Iv now got that added pressure of having to find my way home.

The exam came with in half hour of sitting down on day one! I really did nuckel down and revise but this was not a easy at all. Some of the questions were not dyslexic friendly. Certain answers being similar which meant it was easy to miss read and chose the wrong answer which I did one one question.

However I reached the pass mark needed to continue. It then seemed that staff down played that stress which was placed on the class saying not to worry if you failed as there will be another opportunity and a chance to speak to staff regarding this but not to worry! It was interesting because they told the class that they would not say who failed and would make them aware of a time they would need to see staff to talk about what went wrong. But just after saying that they placed postet notes on certain desks with times written on for the rest of the class to see!!! Another mind game….?!?

In comparison as I mentioned earlyer the week before I successfully completed a two week intense public order medics course. It basically teaches you to treat colleages and members of the public in up to a full riot situation where ambulances can not get too.

It was a very practical course as you could imagine but the difference being that it built in learning for the written exam. This then took the stress out of the written exam and allowed you to focus on the constant practical sessions needed to get accredited. The trainers were there because they wanted you to pass and there was no negative atmosphere surrounding the whole course. By far this was the best course I have ever done but also one of the most challenging. I can not stress how much of a dirfence it makes when you have the right trainers with the right attituded!

The key to any course I guess is the balance of hard graft, time invested and a good positive relationship with the other course members. That banta level / team positive attitude will be the key factor in the over all success of the group. 

I have just done the Sergeants exam and for me this was the hardest exam I have ever done. There was a lot of blood sweat and tears that went into that process. This will be the topic of my next blog so not wanting to spoil the plot I will save it all for the next blog 🙂

If you liked the blog please follow me on twitter @samthedyslexic

Police, Dyslexia and Me!

Whether you are dyslexic or not life will test you. It push you and it will take you places you might not want to go. BUT if you use that energy then you can do anything.

I guess that is how my story began in my current career as a serving British police officer.

Every story starts with a hard first chapter but it’s not about the 1st 20 pages, it’s about the book, the journey, the decision and the outcomes.

2007 I was sat in a huge briefing room with about 200 other prospective candidates. A video was played which showed police cars screaming down the road chasing the bandit car, helicopters tracking suspects using infer red and fast ribs crashing through waves. It was every prospective coppers dream that really got the blood rushing!

The briefing was in its closing stage when the staff member asked for one of the candidates to stay behind. Everyone looked around to see who was being singled out. I didn’t need to look around because the name that was called out was mine.

I meet the staff member who asked if I was dyslexic to which I confirmed. 
I was told that the force could not discriminate (to which I was thinking this is positive).

They then continued and said “against everyone else”. That positive thinking then was lost in confusion. I was told that there was a five spelling mistake cap and that this would still apply to me. That buzz I had from that earlyer presentation was completely blown away following a 30 second conversation with that person. I explained that there is no way I could achieve this to which I was offered a suggestion of using “simpler words”.

The emotions spilled over and I said “shall I also bring my crayons along too”.

I left that briefing with an attitude of what is the point of even doing the exam. What is the point of applying for any job let alone the old bill. My normal up beat attitude was hammered into the ground.

However I picked myself up, revised hard, practiced my spelling and did the exam to which I……..still failed.

I was in turn offed a role as a police community support officer which I did for three year and then re did the exam when this rule was taken away to which I passed. 

I am now up to 10 years as a serving British police officer and can say that I have had a good career so far working on tactical units and now working in the marine world but it has not all been plain sailing (excuse the pun)

Spelling!!! I can not stress how much this word has got me into trouble. My first hand written statement which I took from a retired teacher is a good example. Following its completion and then needing to sign to say this is correct, they started to pick up on my spelling, pulled out a red pen, corrected it and asked if I could re write it. How embarrassing!!! Funny now but then as a brand new PC out of the box it was devastating.

Typed statements using spell check were not much better. I had to write a crown court statement about me chasing a suspect to which I thought I had written “I pursued a male over the course of 5 minuets” but following being proof read by a friend I had actually written “I perused a male over the course of 5 minuets!!” That got some laughs in the office but again it knocks you down because you can’t even use spell check properly. Iv also put someone’s occupation down as retarded rather than retired!!

My main issue has always been E-learning. Packages are getting better but still they are mainly bulk text with little Video interaction. I have always asked the question about if I get training on a subject and I don’t understand it then subsequently I do something wrong then who is to blame? Me for not understanding it or the organisation for not providing a package I can reasonably learn from.

I put some of my issues to a force culture board and from that was made a dyslexic Spoc or point of contact. 

I wanted to see if it was just me or if there were other people out there having the same problems.

So with management approval I basically wrote an email to all staff across my division throwing my self under the bus. Highlighting these embarrassing stories that have happened to me to try and show people that this does happen and you should not have to be embarrassed about having dyslexia.

I got over 30 emails with a really positive response. Majority of people thought they might be dyslexic but didn’t know how to find out. However one person said they were days away from leaving because they were not getting support from the job and the laptop they were promised was no where to be seen. There are so many other examples but it got me thinking that this was only from 1 division. If this went force wide or either nation wide how many people are suffering on the edge of wanting to leave? No mater how much organisations say that they have processes in place people always slip through the net.

However things are changing and dyslexia is becoming more understood in the policing world. There is still so much more that needs to be done. I was surprised how many people were happy and felt comftable  talking to me including ranked officers because I was just a PC. 

My goal in writing this blog and doing organisation talks is to promote the idea of having points of contact who are accessible for everyone in the workplace. Support services are still key and should not be substituted but sometimes people want to get advice from people that are living it and have experienced similar situations. Even if you help one person then that may be the difference between them leaving or staying.

For me following all the hurdles half of which I haven’t been able to mention I have still managed to progress to the job of my dreams working in the marine world. Even this has tested me with exams, intense learning and working in a very competitive area.

In summery of this blog, I guess your success depends on you, your supervisors and the organisation as a whole. All three of these can create barriers but the good thing about being dyslexic is thinking out of the box and finding ways to go around the problem. But organisations can only change if people are prepared to put the head up and say this is not right. There for whether you are dyslexic or someone who supervises someone who is dyslexic then we all have a responsibility to drive positive change.

The comments section does not work on this site but please let me know your thoughts at @samthedyslexic

I hope you enjoyed reading this. For me it was a big step putting pen to paper but I really want to help people with my experiences.

Puka Dyslexic Chat with Jamie Oliver

It was about three years ago when I started doing my dyslexic blogs and pod casts with comedian Mark Simmons. For me at the time it did not matter whether people read or listened to it (other than my mum of course) because i was just doing for me. I guess it was a way of putting pen to paper or pressing record and just getting stuff of my chest and putting them out there in a notional black whole that maybe one day some one may dip into.

However it surprised me when people started to comment on them and started to engage feeding back there stories. It soon turned out that I was not the only one that was forced to wear coloured glasses and eye patches and being placed in classes branded as special needs. It made me feel better in myself that i was not the only one who was going through this.

So from that i decided to write to my dyslexic man crush, jamie Oliver! Why wouldn’t he be anyones man crush, he is driven, successful, focused, you could taking him home to your mum and you would not go hungry!!! 

I sat down at my table, wrote a load of my experiences growing up and asked how he copped with dyslexia during his early years. I placed the hand write letter (and i hate writing by hand!) in the envelope, addressed to to his agent, posted it and 6 months later…… i never heard anything! 

I knew no one would reply i guess i just wrote it because it felt good sending it and it gave me that opportunity to think not only about me but how someone else felt.

Anyway I now work in the maritime world off the Kent and Essex coast. Whilst on the water on our 7 meter rib we needed to stop in Southend for a quick comfort break. We moored up on the end of the pier and headed over to the toilet block. There is a little blue building which i always knew was linked to Jamie Oliver and where he films one of his shows. Every time we had been before it had always been shut and empty however this time it was full of activity. Lights set up outside, cameras pointing in all directions and about a 40 strong film crew.

Im looking at my mate Ron thinking I’m no expert but i think something is going down!! We walked over to the little blue hut and spoke to one of the staff members. They confirmed that he was filming so I asked if he would be interested in having a look at our boat (may have come across as a bit of an unintentional chat up line). she informed me that he wold love to if he knew but the filming shedual was very tight and basically said he had no time in a polite manner. 

tail between our legs we walked back to the boat which I would also like to add was on our lunch break. As we were just about to walk past where the film crew were based  randomly he walked out of the entrance door. Now as much as seeing my wife walk down the isle on our wedding day gave me butterflies I have to say that this moment I did get a few buzzing around my stomach  making me a little speechless. 

Of course i composed myself, prosessed the situation by thinking before speaking and then came out with “fancy looking at my boat!’ To which he said “why not”. His assistant said no to him highlighting that he had no time to which he came along anyway and spend about 15 minuets chatting.

I thought back to that letter i send him three years ago and strongly the first thing that I came out with way “I wrote to you but you never wrote back’ in a jokey way. He actually asked where i sent it and joked that some times letters turn up at his address that only have his name on it and a stamp!

Following that I explained the reasoning for sending the letter that I knew he was dyslexic. From there we had a quick but amazing chat which gave me a short insight into his dyslexic world.

He worked out that he was about ten years older then me and said that when he was younger there was no real help at all. He stated that back then you got isolated from the main classes and did more smaller group work. I mentioned that I was put in a class called “special needs” to which he smiled and said that was exactly what it was called when he went to school. 

I said that for me one of my main problems at work was spelling the wrong word for example putting on a form that someone was retarded when I actually awas trying to say retaired but my brain reads them the same so I get messily into trouble with that. He told me that in one of his books he was trying to write the word pancetta and actually wrote placenta with out noticing! Just shows that it doesn’t matter who you are, whether you are a multi million pound chef or just a small time blogger whose mum makes up 85% of your target audience, the dyslexic problems are still the same!

We spoke briefly about coping mecineisms – he stated that he uses a dictaphone regally which is something that I have never used or tried.

It was a very brief chat but what I would say is he is a really nice bloke and was really down to earth and open regarding dyslexia. A lot of people i know try to hide it as if it is a bad thing. It really isn’t! If anything I’m sure Jamies dyslexia may have played some part in his success today. 

Dyslexic filter glasses 90’s style!

The story of the purple glasses 

The year was 1992 – a young boy aged 7 (yes it may be myself again) was sat at the far end of the class room. 

Reading time – All the other kids were loving there new reading skills which they had been learning over the last few years. 

The room was awash of nouns and-pronouns, smashing out adjectives and throwing out verbs like they were making it rain with £50 notes!

One girl was so good that she was quoting the current financial climate referring the the Financial Times! 

Whilst this array of word crunching was taking place in the class room, little Sam was sat reading the very hungry caterpillar (#GreatBook).

The teachers realised that Sam was well behind in the reading game. The words just seemed to be all jumbled up on the page. It was decided that he was to be put through a special colour filter test.

The next week a man came to the school with a dark brief case. The case opens and out came a list of words and a number of different transparent coloured filters.

“Nothing to worry about old son, all you got to do is read until I say stop”. Sam hated reading. He really did think the Egyptians had the right idea with there cool picture words.

It said something like “the cat was wearing a hat whilst he had a chat with pat” 

Sam was getting it well wrong from the start “the tat with the part had a hat and a rat” 

Each colour not really making much of a difference UNTIL the man put a purple filter on.

It just clicked and for the first time the words seemed to be lined up together in readable sentences. 

Success you would of thought reading this! Well what the school didn’t say was that they were not just giving him the filter but making him a pair of purple framed glasses.

Not just run of the mill pair… we are talking huge thick brown framed glasses. They were that big that the top of the lance levelled with his hair line and the lower was most of the way to his chin!!! 

To top that the lenses were dark purple and you almost needed a backpack as a case for them!

Picture Elton johns mini me siting in a room full of other children all starring and lathing.

Well at the end of the first day little Sam was so upset and peed off that he had been made the lathing stock of the class that he took the glasses, threw them on the floor and stood on them. 

It felt so good to do that!! The only down side was sams mum had to pay for those glasses and as a family they didn’t have much money at the time.

She went mad, proper mad! To which my hatred for the glasses slipped to an emotional pit whole as I new we had little money and maybe being bullied wasn’t the lesser evil.

It’s a story looking back makes me smile (my work lot think it’s hilarious) but actually was a really vunrable moment in my growing up.

I hope my experiences in life make people realise that being dyslexic is not just about not being able to spell but actually has a real emotional impact.

Does this still happen? 

Dyslexia -Please please don’t pick me!!!!

 

He is sat amungst 30 other children at the age of 13 in a dark gloomy class room.

The atmospher of boredom fills the room. The class is just waiting for that one little thing to change the dull feeling that lingers in the air.

Macbeth is being read out aloud but the students in turn. Each rushing there few pages so to pass the buck onto the next person.

A young scared boy has seen that there is two more people to read before him. He can barely read picture books let alone Macbeth!!!!

He works out that he should start his section on page 46. Rather than listen he jumps forward to try and ore read that part to try and nail it prior to the inevitable pain that is to come.

The problem is that boy struggles to read in his head and quietly mumbles it with out being noticed.

Although to his horror the teacher sees what he is doing and decides to mix it up a bit.

Sam! Can you please take over. The boy looks up in horror and hasn’t a clue what page the class is actually on. He starts to glow red, his white shirt absorbed the gushing sweat from his back and he mumbles “yes sir… what page are we on I have seemed to have got a little lost”

The class all perk up, this was what they have been waiting for for the last 45 minuets!!! The boy waits for the reply of the teacher who is smerking up front.

Page 26 second line down please he says in a condersending tone.The boy starts and rather then reading sentences he reads word by word. He misses lines and almost creates new words from ones he can not read. 

The class love it, this is the highlight of the day. The teacher doesn’t stop the madness of the class but almost encourages it by letting Sam continue word by word, line by line. 

It must of been painfull to watch because it was dam painfull to do.

15 minuets in and only two pages kind of completed the relief of the school bell. 

Yes that boy was me!!!!  I can’t even look at Macbeth with out a shiver running down my back!!!!

It’s amazing how that day can have a huge impact on your life. From that day I realised I hated school and I hated that teacher. 

But that hate turned into a motivation to push on work hard and…… fail my GCSE’s! Haha not very motivation but when the school realised I had dyslexia I got extra time, help from better teachers than my dreaded English teacher of year 8 and managed to pass everything eventually getting a business degree.

Don’t let people drag you down. If they kick you down, pick your self up, if they put you down it’s because they think power comes from weakness But it doesn’t. It comes from belief and smashing those barriers no matter how high.

That day shaped me to who I am today.

@samthedyslexic

 

August Sam the Dyslexic Blogg

So I finaly wrote the letter to Prime Minister May!!

This letter will go one of two ways… She will agree and write back to me saying that her party will look in to it OR she will just think im a bit of a nob and will be filed in the department of recycling!!!

Either way it still is not fair that people have to pay well over £500 to find out if you are dyslexic. That would be like me going into hospital saying I think my leg is broken and the doctor saying “yeah it really looks broken but drop me £500 and I will let you know for sure!!!”

 

I couldn’t spell my name till I was over 10, surname at like 15, I read at like 10 words a minuet and most of the time I read the same line three times because the words are all jumbled up! I think its safe to say something is wrong and I and im terrible with numbers so I may have short changed you with your £500 test money.

 

How many people are out there that can not afford to pay to be told they are dyslexic. Deep down they know they are so why for them to get help do we bulid a huge barrier in fornt of them. AND what does it achive. Does there work really care, understand or even really want to help.

 

Iv noticed on twitter that there are so many groups out there for dyslexia doing an amazing job. It’s a huge community but yet people are slipping through the net in getting help. How can we change that???

 

Its like the government are not really that intrested as it is not something that affects them. Well the proof will be in the pudding and see if we get a reply.

 

Its been a while since Iv hit the blogs and twiter. Sadly my grandad passed away will a 30 year fight with dementure. If anyone who is reading this has family members with this then I really feel your pain.

 

Dementure if so crule and soul destroying that it finaly beat him. Desomond Jack Dyer my grandad who fought in the war, boxed in the navy and worked in construction for over 50 years became the latest victim of the darkness of the desease and he will be missed more than ever!

 

My Run

Please please have a look at my gust giving page under sam the dyslexic as I am running a 32 mile london race for the British Dyslexia Assosiation to raise a bit of money that they can use to help may for dysllexia test for people that can not afford it. Any donations no matter how small will go a long way.

https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/samthedyslexic 

What is the worst dyslexic error you have made with regards to words that sound the same? My top retired and retarded (on an official document) 

 

Thanks people

 

@samthedyslexic

May Blog

As I was sat in a cocktail bar over looking the beautiful town of Agios Nikolaos in Crete which was a little blurry as the “TRUST THE BARMAN” cocktail was a little stronger than my lightweight self is used to having!

A question was asked within the group of what is the difference between Assume and Presume.

Easy question I thought at first and naturally is said “well assume is like persuming something and persume is like asuming”.

Then I realised the cocktail was clearly talking and I had no idea about what I was talking about so listened to the grown-ups work it out (Im 32 honestly!)

It then seemed aparent that no one really knew the diffrence!

Can anyone actualy tell me the diffrence between them?

What is the point of two completely difrent words that mean the same thing?

And How do you decide when to use the right one…?

And then just to make assume and persume complecated, you can also have supose!!! Any more…..

Another one that gets me is words that are simular but have completely difrent sounds;

Cough (off) though (o) rough (uff) – all ending in OUGH but have completely difrent sounds. How can all these sound different when they have the same ending. If I was french and started learing english for the first time then surely I would be cursing because it is so complicated.

Have we over the years just made our language complicated or is it because our language is a mix-mash of other languages such as French and latin?

Some times I feel that its my dyslexia that makes it dificult for me but actualy I think it is the English Language.

Another example is if I said I like to sit and ROW, do I mean;

1)I like to sit and row a boat

2)I like to sit and row (argue)with my family

3)Or row as in lines of seats.

Is this not just a floor in the english langue. Do the oxford dictory people even know this and if so why make one word that means loads of different things!

Cup – drinking cup or going to the doctors and being cupped and asked to cough!!!!

Dog pound, pound in weight, money pound gave it a pounding!?

When I used to get words wrong – my nan used to say “there there sam, your get t right next time”. Which there or their is right in this senario?

In summery the english language is really complicated and confusing. So being dyslexic it feels a 100 times harder to understand and get stuff in the right context. Infact now I read this back I feel that I need another coctail just to understand what I have writen.

Only a quick blog today but I am looking a writing one about big organisations and how a lot of the time they are not dyslexic friendly at all. Example being terms and conditions – why not summerise so us dyslexic people and actualy read what we are signing up to rather than the hole 95 pages that no one will ever read!

Any ideas on that would be apreshiated to!!!!

 

Let me know what you think on twitter @samthedysleic

 

Thanks for reading

Sam

 

 

 

Can you Beat Dyslexia…???

Hi to my regular readers (mum)

I write my blog mainly just to get my thoughts to paper because mostly my thoughts are like bubbles floating around within my head. Half the time they pop or almagumate with other bubbles before I have actualy worked out what they were.

 

I recently put up a post about beating dyslexia and I recived a reply that made me think. I have always felt that you cant beat dyslexia and that you have to work with it. But recently I had to do a lot of job related exams that were pritty hard and it massivly brought out the dyslexic traits that I have managed to rain in over the years.

 

It reminded me of the huge emotional wait that can be placed on someone causing a huge amount of preasure and stress because ultimatly in my case the exams will help me get on the path way to a better job, SO NO PREASURE AT ALL!!!!!

I hated dyslexia as a kid because it made me different from all the other kids. I had to wear eye patches, purple lence glasses, be put in special needs classes, placed in all the bottem classes even though pleading with teacher to be moved due to all the desruptive kids being at the bottem also.

 

I wanted to beat it then because I didn’t realy know what it was or why it is happerning to me.

 

Later in life I relised that you cant beat it and almost gave up because it always seemed to get one over on me so I just plodded along until I got to my GCSE’s which surprise surprise I did pants in! However I got it back in my head that I can beat this and I can break this mould so I pushed and pushed myself and not only did I pass my GCSE’s but went on to A levels and even got a degree in Business at university.

 

So strangly I have always been torn between this premis of beating dyslexia and working with it. Prior to my recent exams I was very much of the opinion that dyslexia has shaped who I am and that I like working with it to over come lifes chalenges.

But latley the emotional black thunder cloud has be cast again and it realy takes its tole.

 

I know deep down that I would not change being dyslexic and that adapting and working with it is the way forward but soetimes its hard. And even harder what you try to speak to people who don’t realy understand much about dyslexia.

 

Im not trying to say that saying beating dyslexia is right. I think when I use the term beating dyslexia I actualy mean phycologicly beating it and knowing that you can still achive what you want even with the shadow that always follows you (dyslexia).

I still struggle reading and recently I have forced myself to read more and now really seem to have the bug for it, to the point that its inspired me to write my own book. Its not role dar or jane austin but to me its a small goal I have set.

 

anyway I have rambled on way to much to I realy woud like to know what other people think about it and how they deal with dyslexia.

Mum thank you for reading 🙂 and if anyone else got this far then please contact me on twitter @sam the dyslexic.

 

Sam

Dyslexic Game Of Thrones!!

Is Dyslexia like an epasode of Game of Thones?

It defantly has the brutality that can be found in life, work, schools and collages. For most people it has a real sence of love and hate that can boil down into a really deep dark emotional place for some people. And most of all it has houses that have simular traits.

 

House of lanister reminds me of the house of Employer as they are all about power and wealth and have little regards for the soldiers, workers and other houses that put obsticals in there way.

 

House Stark is like House Dyslexic. Is fighting a stale mate war with its values, belives and problems against a bigger more non understanding House employer.

 

Maybe house Targaryan is the ever growing suport groups that defend the rights of House Dyslexic.

 

Ok I feel like im re writing this amazing box set and ruining it!! I just feel that sometimes being dyslexic is like being in a battle with so many difrent factors and people trying to cut you down or break you. Employers don’t really seem to understand the difficulties that being dyslexic can have. AND that sometimes it is only small changes that are needed to help that person get on. Its like the nights watch is protecting our barriers against all the negativity that is out there.

 

House dyslexia is a strong suportive community but outside that it can feel like you are banging you head against a wall. So what can be done….

 

In short – rise up and stand up and make it heard what you want to say. I have been having huge issues at my work because the employer does not provide relivent information on how it can help people with dyslexia. I have been banging on to them for years now saying that we need a website with more information.

Someone took my idea (management) and created a site that was not acsessable and block black and white text. Nice work coyboy!!!!! How about you jump off your high horse and think outside the box and ask the people that will use it (dyslexic staff) what they would like to see and how it should be presented.

 

I guess that is thinking! However one manager has picked this up and has been amazing. He has organised taking ownership of the internal site and is asking me to reasurch what officers and supervisors would want to see.

 

I moan a lot about employers espechaly mine but on this occasion he has been spot on and I think this will really help.

 

Oh on a seprate note I haave been speaking to some really coll people at NUword. They have created a cool site which has a chat forum that covers some real good dyslexic topics. I have writen a few posts in there and think it is a great way of shareing stories and experiences. Please check it out at www.nuword.org/join

 

It is free to sign up and really worth having a look.

 

Anyway I need to get back to my revsion as have a few marine exams on the go. FUN!!!!!!

 

Laters people sorry if I ruined Game of Thrones

 

Sam

@samthedyslexic